03 | voice / spam

( voice )

How much of this is worth it? To either get what you want or to leave here. [ Because if people say yes, that it is worth it, then maybe that backs up what she thinks. That people everywhere are just as depraved and cruel as the ones she tried to kill - to stop ] If you had a choice would you endure it, to justify what this claims, or would you stop it? [ Tell her that she's wrong, that not everyone agrees with this. Iris claimed to, because it worked, but it also wasn't right regardless. And that's her problem. Or at least that's what she's putting as the front of her problem ]

( voice | private to iris wildthyme. )

You said that something would happen, that my memories would be shared. [ This wasn't quite that, but more a re-writing of them. A life that wasn't hers, and a life where she was happy, unknowing of all the pain that she'd felt, and the anger that she had. A life she would happily have kept if she didn't know this. But she does, and she's angry for it ] What would you call this, then? [ And she is interested in knowing, hate aside ]

( spam. location or make your own )

[ Helena has found herself in the garden. She hadn't thought to go there, or thought that there would be one, but she's drawn in at the sight of it. It almost calls to her, to try and clear her head as looking out over the docks did to the Helena of the world they'd just been in. She doesn't understand it, and she hates it truthfully. Hates that it could happen, that it did, but mostly Helena is angry about the life that she had, that she knows about it.

She'd been happy, almost blissful. Christina hadn't existed in that life, but Helena also hadn't been the same H.G. Wells of her past. There were similarities, things of herself that she knew, but her life was vastly different - she'd moved to Oxford whilst Charles had stayed in Kent, living separate lives. And she'd loved, truly.

It's knowing about this that brings Helena the most anger, or perhaps pain. She can remember being that happy once, if a long time ago, and it's the memories that bring her the pain. Memories that she's trying to push down, to bury away. They can't help her, but they can fuel her, as they're fueling her anger now. It's contained, and mostly so that she can see without the emotion of her past (happiness, sadness, grief) clouding over her. If anything she could find herself a little more determined.

Whilst the garden might have somewhat of a calming effect normally (and may even for Helena were she not so angry), she's using it as she used the water of the docks before. She's there to think ]